Couch Potato - Weird Al Yankovic
(Intro)
Look....
If you had
One shot
to sit on your lazy b_tt
and watch all the TV you ever wanted
until your brain turned to mush
Would you go for it... or just let it slip
(Verse 1)
Yo, Remote is ready, eyes wide, palms are sweaty
The Flinstones on the TV already
Wilma and Betty
No-Virgin The Channel surfin' and I'm HD ready
So I flip, garbage is all i'm getting
There's Simon Cowell
Who folks want to disembowell
He opens his mouth, always says something fowl
They're dyin wow
wannabees are cryin now
He votes them out, time to throw in the towel
Shows based on reality
Oh! the humanity
Oh! Ozzy's family
Sho loves profanity
Oh the insanity
Oh, dogs that crap and pee
Home of depravity
No, they live happily
Plus "Da Ali G Show"
And "Celebrity Mole"
Oh theres "Anna Nicole"
Well she's scarin me
Look Ma', no cavities
Oh, its a station break
Better go off to the kitchen and microwave something
(Chorus)
You're gonna Lose Your Mind watchin TV
They told me, they scold me
But i still tune in every show
My cable gets C-Span, TV Land, and HBO
The Travel Channel, Discovery, and Lifetime
You're gonna Lose your Mind watchin TV
They told me, cajoled me, turn off those music videos (no!)
I'm gonna watch C-Span, TV Land, and HBO
TheHistory Channel and QVC and Lifetime (You're gonna)
(Verse 2)
My b_tt is aching
As I watch NASCAR racing
That show about undertaking
Larry King
To 24 to Law and Order
The Weather Channels boring like 60 minutes anciant reporters
Next up on E! True Hollywood Story
The rise and decline of 12 actors name Cory
Shows for next fall, they've already been name'n
CSI: Boise, Touched By an Uncle, both sound pretty lame'n
So does Everybody Tolerates Raymond
The "King of Queens" jumped the shark the first minute
I can't believe Richard Simmons ain't in it
I move right onto "8 simple rules for dating my teenage daughter"
Then I bet
I'll watch "The Bachlorette"
Followed by Welcome back Kotter
And The Muppet Show where they go "Mahna Mahna"
(Chorus)
You're gonna Lose Your Mind watchin TV
They told me, they scold me
But i still tune in every show
My cable gets C-Span, TV Land, and HBO
The Disney Channel and A&E and Lifetime
You're gonna Lose your mind watchin TV
They told me cajoled me
But I still love Lisa Kudrow (drow)
I'm lookin at C-Span, TV Land and HBO
The Playboy Channel and Court TV and Liftime (Your Gonna)
(Verse 3)
Never missed "Melrose Place" or "Lost In Space"
I've seen each "Amazing Race" and "Without a Trace"
I've only seen "Will and Grace" one time, one day
Wish I hadn't cause TiVo now thinks i'm gay
And "Fear Factor" I watched only a half hour
After that I felt like I needed a long shower
Network exects with naked ambitions
Next week on FOX watch lions eat Christians
Like tie up those programming planners
Make em' watch all ok that junk until thier heads explode just like"Scanners"
Leech-Covered grub-eating fool on "Survivor"
Look there's James Lipton
Disscussing the Ouvre of Mr. Rob Schnieder
And theres Gilligin and SpongeBob plus Theres McGuiver
And Jay Leno has got Madonna hey there's Luke Perry
And a special all pig-latin episode of "Drew Carey"
Gotta turn on ET, cause i'm a gossip freak
And I gotta know who J.Lo is marryin this week
A 30 second spot then I come back to "Are You Hot"
I was plannin on recording "The Sapranos"
I forgot
I love shows wit or without a plot
I'll stare 'til my legs are numb, my eyes bloodshot
Because i've only have got one brain to rot
I'm gonna spend my life watchin television a lot
(Chorus)
You're gonna Lose Your Mind watchin TV
They told me, they scold me
But i still tune in every show
My cable gets C-Span, TV Land, and HBO
The Sci-Fi Channel and AMC and Lifetime
You're gonna Lose your mind watching TV
They told me cajoled me turn off that "Oprah Winfrey Show" (no)
I gotta get C-Span, TV Land and HBO
The Learining Channel and MTV and Lifetime (your gonna)
You can watch anything you want to man
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